Adoption-Rough Draft

Garrett Walker

        

         Adoption is a wonderful thing. It is the process of a family or person bringing someone new into their life, simply for the sake of wanting to care for them. Adoption takes place in many forms; international adoptions, multinational adoptions, temporary adoptions or foster care, preliminary adoption, and many more. Many people choose adoption because of a lack of ability of having their own child. Some choose it because they would rather care for a child already in this world who needs a home. And in some cases, adoption takes place because of a d death, or circumstance in which a family member or friend is unable to continue living with their current parent or guardian. Adoption has taught me a number of things. For example, it has showed me how much the world is really connected. It has taught me that everyone is the same, even if they don’t look, or act the same. The process of adoption has had a bigger affect on my life than it has on most people. My brother was adopted Korea, I have an adopted friend from Vietnam, a few adopted friends from Africa, and two adopted uncles and multiple friends from the United States. Without adoption, I wouldn’t have these relationships, and my loved ones wouldn’t have the relationships that they have now. Chances are that adoption affects you more that you realize.

         When I was seven years old, my mom’s side of the family came over for Christmas. At this time, my brother Cole had been part of our family for about two years. My cousin Sam was a little older than myself, but still young, and she was very uneducated about the adoption process. When I was upstairs in my room, Sam wanted to know where I was so she asked my dad; “Uncle Dave, where’s your son?” My dad replied “Which son?” and Sam answered “Your real one. With most parents and loved ones of adopted family member, would and will take this kind of statement offensively. And I believe with good reason. However Sam was young, and my dad understood. He took this as an opportunity to educate her. He sat her down and told her simply, “Sam, they’re both my real sons. Even though Cole is from Korea, he is no less my son, than Garrett. I love him the same, and he is my son all the same.” He went on to further explain the process of adoption to Sam, and she quickly understood. After hearing this story, I considered the question for myself. Was Cole my REAL brother? I was only seven, and had never even considered the matter. But when I thought about the situation, I quickly decided. Of course he was. He was a member of my family all the same. We might not share genetic material, but he is by any definition; my brother.

         Living with an adopted brother has led to some interesting experiences. I have a friend who moved here from Korea about four years ago. When he first met Cole, he started speaking Korean to him, assuming that he would understand. When we explained that he has been with us since he was a baby, and had know idea what Danny (my friend) was talking about, they both laughed. However some experiences haven’t been as light hearted. Occasionally, I will have someone ask me if I have any “real” siblings, after meeting Cole. This happens less now that people are overall more educated on the subject. However when it does happen, I don’t take it offensively, because the majority of the time it is ignorance through no fault of their own. I simply explain to them how he is my real brother, and after explaining it, they almost always understand. Of course there will always be judgmental people who won’t consider him to be my brother, but I haven’t had to deal with that much yet. This relates to me learning that everyone is the same, because if you teach something, you learn in better. I have never been a judgmental person, and I think it may be because of living with Cole. He doesn’t look like me. I’m white; I have brown hair, and big green eyes. Cole is dark, has black hair, and thin brown eyes. But he’s not any different, than me. I believe that this taught me that if two people who don’t look alike can love each other, why can’t everyone else love each other despite differences?

         Cole is, and forever will be a member of our family. Living with him has taught me that everyone is the same. No matter your race, gender, religion, sexual orientation or anything else. It has taught me that learning to accept people can open an endless amount of doors and possible relationships. Having a biracial family, it is hard for me to understand prejudice. I believe that it all comes down to a lack of personal experience. If Cole had never come into my laugh, who knows what my views would be? But because he has, I have learned to love, care for, and appreciate someone who’s different from me. If you ask someone with adopted family if they think of them as any different, nine out of ten times they will answer no. We fight like siblings; we act like siblings, and at times even have similar personality traits like siblings do. If the only thing separating you from someone is your skin tone, your views, or your religion; look past that, and see the person behind it. Thomas Jefferson was once quoted saying “I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” If you think about this quote and apply it to this situation, you can truly begin to understand how adopting my little brother taught me that everyone is equal. I would never ask for a different sibling. He is my brother, and always has been.